A very short story.

It is currently 12:25AM, and I’m hiding under my bed.
12:26AM, and the knocking starts again. I can him hear him rapping against the windows. He will never get in here. He needs permission to enter here. I know how it goes.
The knocking has been starting and stopping for quite a while now. I cannot sleep. It has been days since I’ve rested my eyes for more than an hour. Why me? What is it that makes me so appealing? The fact that I live by myself, that I have little to no friends who would notice my untimely disappearance? He knows how to pick em.
It is 12:27, and I’ve given up. I whisper two words, and then I hear the rapping. Again. Against my bedroom door.
I close my eyes…finally.


*I was thinking about Let The Right One In, fantastic book btw, pick up a copy if you haven't already, it's absolutely brilliant. And there's this rule, that the only way a vampire is allowed into someone's house is if the person let's them in voluntarily, whether by physically opening an entrance, or just saying: come in. And I decided to write a very short story about it. It's very crap, and very short, and I couldn't be bothered extending it. Oh btw, he is only still knocking in the end to taunt me. So...just clarifying that.*

Shitty quizzy

- Amazingly new questions, you down?
Fark offfffff

- How long have you liked the person you like?
Like...I don't like anyone. I'm a little over the whole crush thing. Especially the whole gay crush thing. Oh shi-

- Will you be in a relationship one month from now?
Nah, but if I could predict the future, I'd be super rich.

- Are you "with" the very last person you kissed?
Noooppe. I kissed a hooker. Jokes.

 - Whens the next time you will see your best friend?
Whenever he wants to go to a strip club. I am unfortunately NOT joking here.

 - Last person you dated, and actually cared about, how long ago?
Ah jeez...a fair while.

- First person to speak to you in 2010?
Tom? I think.

- Who were you with the last time you went to the movies?
Tom. The Other Guys. That was the movie, not some ragtag group of other dudes.

- Do you think you can last in a relationship for 3 months?
I totally read that question wrong...

- Do you hate when people call you when you're sleeping?
Ummm...not really.

- What did you have for breakfast?
Pineapple. Weather was too depressing for sad food.

- What are you wearing currently?
are they sweat pants or track pants? goddamn, so comfy. Also, red hoody that's like Juno's but not really.

- What time did you wake up today?
10:46. pm.

- What's something you want to purchase next time you're at the mall?
Band shirts.

- Is it right to judge someone based on the number of people they've slept with?
JUST from that? No. But if you talk to them in person and they turn out to be a douche, go right ahead and judge.

- What pops into your head when you think of last summer?
Amazing. Pure awesome. No wait...it WAS awesome, kinda curved off when I got my results, then when I got back from China it was pure awesome again.

- If you woke up in one of the Saw movies, do you think you could survive?
Only the reverse bear trap one. Because I'm not actually inflicting pain on myself. Actually, fuck that, I couldn't murder someone for my own pitiful life. I just hope the trap isn't painful...like that crucifix one O_O

- Do you believe that if you want something bad enough you'll get it?
Nah bro. You need to get off yo ass and do something to get it.

- Would you rather grow old with someone or be single forever?
Tough one. I haven't met a significant other I would dream about spending years with. But being alone at 40 is mighty depressing.

- Do you like to hold or be held?
Lol. I like to hold...onto a guitar. Siff a guitar could hold me.

- Do you know anyone that smokes weed?
May...be. I don't dabble in that.

- What was the last thing you and your mom talked about?
dunno, but she was yelling. a-typical.

- Are you excited for anything?
The derby, definitely. Friday- a break from studying and a house with no parents. After exams.

- What will your next piercing be?
Never.
- Has anyone taken their shirt off in front of you?
Yes. Unfortunately, no one worth squealing over.

- Do you trust all of your friends?
God no.

- For people that don't know you, what do they think your age usually is?
like 12 -___-

- Could you stay in a relationship for a year?
Pfft, again, future-predicter. rich thing.

- Where do you want to live when your older?
Settle down somewhere nice. I know, it's corny and cliched, but there is a REASON why it's cliched.

- Do you think someone is falling in love with you?
Definitely, 100 percent, no.

- Is there something you will never forget? 
Sure. Oh, something GOOD?
Sure!

- Anyone you want back in your life?
I haven't really LOST anyone who was worth keeping? I'm not sure that makes sense.

- Have you ever been punched by the opposite sex?
bhahahaha, almost exclusively

- Last person you said I love you to?
Might've been drunk. Caboose.

Definitely drunk.

- Does your best friend go to your school?
Used to. We have all grown out of school.

- Does it bother you when people driving down the street stare at you?
Nah. They wanna look, they can look.

- How long until your next birthday?
Fuck maths.

- Would you ever get a tattoo?
Definitely some day.

- Do you have someone you always have late night conversations with?
Not always. I never go on msn anyway.

Update number...whatever!

Well my week of holidays is over. Not bad, I must say. Got a bit of work done. Got a bit of shit done. Lol. Oh my God, I can't think of anything to write. Oh yeah, how about that Grand Final? Funniest shit ever. Couldn't stop laughing when they were all like "SEE YA NEXT WEEK!" Fucking pathetic. Seriously, just implement an extra 10 minutes. How fucking hard is that? Oh no wait, the corporate whores just want more money. That, THAT is the Australian spirit? Fucking hell, I thought it was better than that. Apparently not. Anyway, back to my mate's place for Grand Final 2.0. And despite my criticism, it was a damn entertaining game, and a damn entertaining day. Did not, however, match my night. I Explode Like, House Vs Hurricane and most importantly, ENTER SHIKARI. LIVE. AMAZING SHIT. Oh my God, words cannot express how amazing it was. Second best gig, nothing beats Rise Against. But, wow. They know how to put on a show. And they have cute accents :) "Come on Melbourne, let's get SILLAYYYY!" 

Well that's everything interesting I can recall. Dead tired, caught about 3 hours of sleep, drank a lot of...SOMETHING though. Oh, also purchased Halo Reach. Ahhh, bitch at GAME Camberwell ripped me off, but I'm not too fussed. Anywayzzzzzzzz...GG man. GG. It's ok.

Music? Well Enter FUCKING SHIKARI for one. Seriously, listen to em, it's quite unlike anything you've ever heard. A brilliant mix of several genres that just works. Also, Jamie's Elsewhere and...the two bands supporting Shikari (HvH and I Explode Like).

Books? Dunno, stopped reading much. Should pick up some books sometime. 
Movies? Oh...haven't caught anything. But Let Me In is apparently a damn good remake, so I might catch that. Also, Buried, Easy A, and The Social Network are on my must watch list. I've heard NOTHING but brilliant things about these films. Yes, it's a film about Facebook. Yeah, 100 on Metacritic? Sold.* Also...owls. Fighting. Where else am I gonna see that? Until next update.




*Metacritic is some stupid review site I use primarily. Because it's incredibly strict with the scores and combines scores from dozens of other legitimate reviewers, so I know I'm not getting a biased opinion. Much.

500 questionaire thing...

SIMPLE QUESTIONS:

1. Full name: Kevin cankickyourass He

2. Nicknames: 'Hey you in the bushes'

3. Eye Colour: 'Black?'

4. Height: 160cm. 170 when aroused.

5. Hair: Kinda short

6. Siblings: 7 brothers and sisters, each more annoying than the last.

7. Do u like to sing in the shower? do YOU. I do...not. Too many people around.

8. Do u like to sing on the toilet? Can't go without blasting some...shit. AHAHAHAHAHA

9. Birthday: Neither

10. Sign: 'Warning: Hazardous Materials'

11. Address: No thanks,

12. Sex: YES PLEASE! Couldn't resist.

13. Righty or lefty: I prefer to keep my political motivation to myself.

14. What do you want in a relationship most? Nothing. CBF, too much money >.<

15. Have you ever cheated? Yeah, my best friend got a heart attack, so I screen-cheated.

16. MarITal status: I used to do IT in year 12.

17. Do you have a car? Moped.

18. What kinda car do you have/want? Moped.

FAVORITE QUESTIONS:

19. Movie: Please, if you don't know, you don't know me at all.

20. Song: Nothing.

21. Band/singer: That one with the two guys.

22. TV Show: That one with the two guys.

23. Actor: ...fuck, you're too smart for me.

24. Actress: Hur hur hur :D

25. Food: See above.

26. Number: 12

27. Cartoon: That one with the two guys.

28. Disney Character: NO COMMENT

 

29. Colour: Black?

LOVE LIFE ETC:

30. Do you plan on having children: Not while I have my strength, I don't.

31. Do you want to get married: I refuse to continue this test until you learn to use question marks.

32. How old do you wanna be when you have your first child? That's better.

33. How old do you wanna be when you're married: Old enough to not be aware of the fact that I'm getting married.

34. Would you have kids before marriage: Isn't there some kind of interactive version of this quiz which removes this question if you answered 'no' to question 30?

35. Do u have a b/f or g/f (who)?: N. O

37. Do you have a crush: Only when people sit on me.

EITHER-OR (PICK WHICH ONE YOU PREFER)

38. Music/TV: Fuck off. I'll watch my music on TV. Lawyered, BITCH.

39. Guys/Girls: Me and 6 billion chicks? Fuck no.

40. Green/Blue: Black?

41. Pink/Purple: Girls.

42. Summer/Winter: The one with the sun. Which in Melbourne, would be neither.

43. Night/Day: The one WITH THE SUN. Which in Melbourne, WOULD BE NEITHER

44. Hangin Out/Chillin: Sorry, I wasn't watching the Fresh Prince Of Bel Air.

45. Dopey/Funny: I don't remember any dwarves named Funny.

46. You know I'm around when you hear: I dunno. Fucking stupid questions?

47. What school do u go to? Shithole, University.

48. Have you ever taken drugs? Yes, but they made me give them back.

49. What's a major turn on for you? The rank above a captain turn on, I suppose.

50. How far would you go on a first date? Fucking hell, I don't even have my P's. So I'd say, about 5 k's. By bus, I'd walk about 20 metres.

Sorry guys...guy.

Sorry folks, I have been neglecting this blog for a while. Not many people read it, but I figure, I might as well put the effort in (finally) for the few that do. Because, it's not about worldwide appeal *COUGHCOUGHINSERTSHITTYMOVIEORTVSERIESHERE*. It's about appealing to the better masses *COUGHCOUGHINSERTANYTHINGELLENPAGEHASEVERDONE*. I'd just post some random shit up, what's been going on, maybe a creative piece (cos goddamn I love to get creative), other crap.

So what's been going on with my life recently? Hang on, it's only been a week, so nothing life changing...Actually, a moment could change someone's life forever. Yeah, moving on.

I thought I could escape my awful uni course. Turns out it was wrong. Ok, so here is the catch; I have to get an average of 65 and 8 CP to move to my ideal course (shall go unnamed for fear of laughing at me), but here's the deal. I can't GET good grades when I'm studying something I have no interest in. It's simply not possible. I could buckle down and really throw myself in, but I've already failed 2 subjects, and I doubt I could reach that goal. And there's the money issue as well. I don't think it's fair to judge my marks because of the simple lack of interest I have in my current course. Of course, I also do not see any other way it could be done. So there it is. I'm stuck in a shitty course for 2 more years. It's just...so. SHIT.

On a lighter note, I did have a good time Friday. Sports bar+mates+booze=a night where I forgot my troubles. Open invitation to next time for reader(s) =)

Music? Eh, I've barely picked up the guitar. And it's a damn shame. I'm proud enough of my skills to say I'm pretty good at the guitar. I can shred like a demon (which scares away a lot of ladies, which is good, I don't use the guitar to pick up), I've been very unlucky with bands though, every one I've joined turned out shite. It's ok though, I'm not really interested in guitar anymore. I just listen to the tunessss.

Ok, I'll post something more lighthearted in a couple hours. Stay tuned :)

I review GLEE. YES. GLEE!!!! the first 6 eps anyway...

Millions love it. About the equal amount hate it. I do away with the hype and the hate, and despite my better judgement, I sit down and I watch it.

Pilot:
Wow, what a killer. I was so tempted to just switch it off, but I made a promise to a Glee-obsessed fan that I'd watch it (she's hot, don't judge me!). The first half hour is pretty standard. It's far from awful, like what half my friends think, and it's far from great, like my OTHER half thinks. I've realized why I'm not enjoying it, nor hating it. It's because, while the main characters are utter tripe (stupid fame-obsessed chick, Rachel, and the sports dude who thinks he's amazing, Finn...or something), the supporting characters have some personality. There's the cripple, the asian goth who is like...kinda attractive? And the sassy black girl. Anyway, this episode lacks a true protagonist. The director of Glee Club, Will, he may seem like the perfect protagonist, but then he goes ahead and plants marijuana in Finn's locker JUST so he would join. It seems tacky, desperate, and it's downright blackmail.
So I was unimpressed, until the music kicked in. A fantastic song/dance set to Rehab, done by a rival glee club, was damn impressive, and the closing song, the now (in)famous "Don't Stop Believing" was actually fantastic. I realize now why half my friends hate it. It's either because it's not their 'thing', or it's just because they hate it from what little they've seen, and are unwilling to give it a chance.

Showmance-
Suffers from the same problems as the pilot. A lack of empathy with characters, hollow storylines, and some great choreography set to decent songs. Standout has to be Gold Digger. I never LIKED the song personally, but I enjoyed the touch they've put on it.
Oh...and actually, there is one character who is damn fantastic in this episode, and the next four. Emma, played by the lovely Jayma Mays. She's eccentric, yet utterly adorable in her role as the school guidance counselor, and germaphobe? Well, she has a big problem with germs. Oh, and the cheerleader's audition into the club is probably the highlight, with a very catchy rendition of "I Say A Little Prayer For You". Outside of that, the other storylines are pretty boring. There's some pregnancy one that is god awful, as Will's wife, Terri, is just pathetic, which I'm glad for, because there is definitely chemistry between Will and Emma, and I guess Terri makes a good antagonist.

Acafellas-
Again. It doesn't seem to be improving in plot, but the fantastic songs more than make up for it. Will creates an all male a-Capella group, and a fantastic rendition of "Poison" is experienced. Other than that...maybe Sue is the other highlight. As the bitter cheerleading coach who wants nothing more than the demise of the glee club, she gets the best lines, and Jane Lynch is goddamn brilliant, playing the role to a tee.
Oh, and Puck is a fucking nuisance. I do NOT understand why most of my friends who love this show, LOVE HIM. He's a bully, a dickhead, and has a stupid mohawk to compliment it. Maybe he gets nicer later on, or maybe girls just dig the whole dickhead thing. Figures.

Preggers-
Probably the second best episode I've seen so far. Kurt happens to be one of my favorite characters, being the eccentric gay guy 'who hasn't come out officially yet it's completely obvious', and his storyline is the highlight, joining the football team to impress his dad. There is a hilarious yet completely whacked out dance to Beyonce's 'Single Ladies', which makes no sense when put in theory, yet somehow works, and it's both hilarious and heartwarming. Other than that, the OTHER pregnancy (Finn's girlfriend) is coma-inducing, and very soap opera-esque. Nothing notable there. And Rachel isn't winning any points with her selfish actions, leaving the club just because she doesn't get a solo. Seriously Rachel, shape up or ship out.

The Rhodes Not Taken-
Eurgh, SAME problems. A great guest appearance from Kristen Chenoweth (who is kidna attractive, but has an annoying voice), and a FANTASTIC ending song of Queen's 'Somebody To Love' saves this episode from being a completely pointless waste of time. Rachel comes back, pregnant people are still pregnant, nothing interesting still.

Vitamin D-
So, I'm up to this episode. And, it's improved! The storyline that doesn't involve any music whatsoever turns out to be very very interesting, as Will's wife Terri becomes a school nurse just to spy on him and rival love interest Emma. Unfortunately for Emma, it's a losing battle, as gym teacher and casual boyfriend Ken Tanaka asks for Emma's hand in marriage, and Will's already engaged to Terri, who is faking a pregnancy. I know, the pregnancy thing is pretty boring yeah? Anyway, it's a boys vs girls at glee club, and I gotta say, not being sexist, but the boys clearly win. A mash-up of Usher's Confessions II and Bon Jovi's 'It's My Life' was goddamn fantastic. Though both groups were on some sort of drug, apparently. Anyway, can't get enough of Emma. And Sue's 'diary' scene had some fantastic lines, and was downright her best scene so far.

Inspiration in many forms

For the first time in years, I will surface again. Your brief freedom was merely that of an interlude. I've seen you obsess over it, details minute in nature, hours slaved over. A gun to the head, falling off a cliff, a knife across the throat. How, is the most obsessive detail. How will you do it? Do you have the courage to go through it? Do not worry, for that is why I am here. These things are what I look forward to. Remember what made you start thinking about it all?


A poisonous household, abuse and tears, only one way out. Well, two, but you weren't thinking of the other option. You didn't think you could do it. So you settled for something else. But it was pure fantasy, you couldn't go through it yet. You escaped the abuse, and left the feelings inside, maybe for next time, or the last time.

You always back down at the last minute. But do not worry, I will give you the courage to take the final step. There are so many instruments to conduct with. Household items are so...violent. It's art, inspiration, in so many forms. So many fucking forms, you don't know which one to pick. 


You've backed down too many times, but it's over now. I shall take over from here. Your body is forfeit to me. I have the colours ready, I just need a canvas. You will be my physical canvas for our little...adventure.

I will take over, and you shall let me, you've gone through enough. It's time for me to take over. You'll give up and let me take care of your problems. You have so many problems in life. And I, I am the solution.

Suicide is your ultimate solution for them.

Your very first guitar!

So, wanna play the guitar, but unsure? Take this test to find out if you're compatible for a guitar!

Q1:
Are you going to use the guitar to pick up chicks?
If YES, then accept a handshake from me...and fuck off.
If NO, then move on to Q2!


Q2:
What style of music are you going to play?
If you say "Anything but Miley Cyrus" move on to 3.
If you say "Nothing other than Miley Cyrus", then accept a fist to the face from me.


Q3:
Are you planning to start a band?
If yes, move on to 4.
If no, move to 5.




Q4:
Let's gig together, yeah?
move the fuck on to 6




Q5:
Let's start a band!
move the fuck on to 6




Q6:
Electric or acoustic?
If Electric, good choice.
If Acoustic, another solid choice, though your primary motivation is probably to pick up chicks. 




I'm done. Go back to your triangle.

My Subway Song

Meatballs.
6 Inch
Italian herbs and cheese

Cheddar cheese
and yes toasted please

Could I please have some lettuce
and tomatoes, if it's not too much fuss
throw some olives in there
and some capsicum if you dare
some jalapenos cos i like them
and hot chilli sauce because...i like the sauce.


that comes to 4.45
would you like anything else with that?

fuck you.