It was gonna end there before i realized I never LEFT the vault

So I discovered I can freeze time and shoot off limbs based on a mathematical calculation of probability. I know, who said maths couldn't be cool? So anyway, I blew away that cockroach (it's called a Radroach for some reason that I'll figure out in seven seconds) and all was fine. My dad wanted to take a picture with me but I shot him with the BB Gun until he was knocked unconscious. Then I took the picture. It was HILARIOUS. 

Fast forward to some sex-obsessed teenager now. I stole the Bobblehead off my dad's desk, probably to beat off into later. Wait, WHAT?

Skipped the Generalized Occupational Aptitude Test. Yes, the GOAT. DO PEOPLE THAT LIVE HERE REALIZE HOW STUPID THAT SOUNDS? I pour all my skills into guns. Because I plan to shoot everyone in this stupid Vault. Saw some hot chick called Amata being bullied by Butch. Oh Butch. How I loathe thee. Anyway, I made fun of the broad's weight. See ya! 

Waking up now. Amata, hey I was just dreaming about you! WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY LIAM-NEESON-SOUNDALIKE FATHER HAS RUN OFF? Oh FUCK YOU AMATA, I KNOW YOU'RE RESPONSIBLE. Wait, she's given me a gun? Fuck yes, my plan has come to fruition! But wait! A BASEBALL BAT? Oh ho ho, it must be Christmas. 

Oh God, more roaches. But I don't care. Freeze time, smash the shit out of them, continue on. A lovely couple talking about escaping. Pull gun out as soon as the guy starts running and gun em down before the cops do. Then kill the cops. 

*eye twitches*

Officer, I swear I didn't do anything! POLICE BRUTALITY! STOP WHACKING ME! 

MUAHAHAHAH TABLES HAVE TURNED, ROACHES ARE EATING YOU ALIVE, MUAHAHAHAHA!!! OH MY GOD THEY DEVOURED HIM AND TURN TO ME NOW!!! DIE DIE DIE!!!!

Oh hi Butch? What's that, you want me to save your mother? She's getting eating by roaches? THIS I GOTTA SEE. Tell him to go fuck himself, than beat him to death with a bat. Go to the room, beat the roaches, and when her guard is down, beat THE MOTHER to death. Being evil has never been so nauseating.

Oh, it's the Overseer. He's about to rape Amata? Oh my God-can i join? No, no rape? Ok, beat the shit out of the guy for his clothes and keys. Find Amata, who's throwing a hissy fit over me killing her DAD? THE OVERSEER WAS HER DAD? So...guess sex is out of the question yeah?

Run run run, open door. Oh my God I see the light. I see the light! Turn around, two officers are like still chasing me, though they seem to have encountered an invisible wall. They don't wanna leave the Vault. Show them the finger and off my merry way... open the door to reveal...some shit. I left the comfort of my home for this?